How to Peer Edit someone else’s paper

okay what we want to talk to you today about is how you’re going to do your peer edit so you can see I have a example paper in front of me and this was written so that you could see how you can peer edit right on your Google Doc so you’re going to be able to open up your paper and edit someone else’s paper and then also see the fixes that you need to make so one of the first things that I notice about this paper is right up here in the header you see that our student she does have her name in the upper right hand corner which is correct but as you can see it is not in Times New Roman this is actually what it looks like in Arial you want this to also be in Times New Roman so now I’m not going to fix this for but I do want to let her know that this is a problem so I’m going to go over to insert and comment and I want to remind her you should put this in Times New Roman and then I just click comment and it’s right there for now what I want to do is just read through her paper and see what I can help her out with to fix some of her mistakes so she has her title moves like Jagger or Lenin to gifted young men to brilliant musicians to voices of the same generation now the problem here is that these are fragments to gifted young men to brilliant musicians to voices of the same generation she is definitely missing some verbs here so I want to remind her of this and let her know that she would lose points for that because of the grammar error so I’m going to tell her that these three sentences are all fragments maybe check grammar girl for some help because we want to make sure that we don’t have these major grammar issues in our paper so let’s keep going and see what else we can find two very different trajectories towards Fame and Beyond John Lennon lead singer of the Beatles and Mick Jagger leader of the Rolling Stones are at first glance two very similar men upon examination however is easy to see their differences are profound and each difference contributes to their particular musical style their early childhood their varying paths of fame and their reactions to worldwide adulation mark each and unique in personal ways John Lennon’s Chou was marked by war okay it sounds like we just had a big transition because we started a new paragraph our first paragraph to support our thesis which starts at John Lennon’s childhood so I would want to put a comment here that is explaining that she needs to indent this paragraph because it is a new thought okay so now let’s keep going and see what else we can find born in December a year after Great Britain entered World War two Lenin had a childhood marked by frequent bombings and air raids this however was not the chief calamity of his early years his mother Julia Lenin was a beautiful and flighty young woman who had been married to Lenin’s father off only briefly once their marriage broke up she remarried a man named Bobby Dyken and had two daughters with him she did not bring John with her however her sister John’s Aunt Mimi raised him up raised him in her household through his school years even from afar however Julia influenced him very heavily especially with the new music suddenly heard everywhere rock and roll you know this transition right here this even from afar however where we’re bringing in these two different ideas talking about Julia but then also talking about the new music and is an awesome transition so I want to definitely let my students know that this is a awesome transition so let’s see what we’re going to talk about next in order to win the love and approval of his mother John took up rocking rock music and guitar earning Julia’s high praise and encouragement John both loved and hated hated his mother she supported his desire to play music unlike his strict and conventional Aunt Mimi but also had abandoned him and his view but also and hid but also had abandoned him in his view but also had abandoned him in his view okay so you can see here that our student has repeated herself quite a few times so we want to just make this note to let her know that she needs to take one of these phrases out so we will let her know when Julia was killed by a hit-and-run driver in 1958 John’s bitterness and resentment overwhelmed all those who were close to him friends girlfriends family this deep-seated anger also fueled many of his songs in many ways Julia even after her death acted as linens muse and inspiration John had an unconventional childhood mick jagger’s was a very conservative and safe born in 1943 — basil and Eva Jagger he came from the father who was a teetotal Baptist and a mother who had hated rock-and-roll music I would watch my lovely boys sitting so neat and clean watching that dreadful Cliff Richard that awful hair and that sexy dancing okay so right here in this quote that starts it’s what we would like to call an orphan quote this quote is just all on its own it doesn’t have any introduction we don’t really have much info about who’s saying and what’s going on so I can tell by the way that she’s written that she’s meaning this to be from the mother so just to fix the problem I could easily say something like you know she always says or just an easy fix but I want to remind her that she needs to make that fix so in here I want to say you need to introduce your quote don’t leave it as an orphan and then also after I go past this quote a little bit I notice an issue with her citation you see how her citation is a link we don’t want it to be a link we want it to actually be her article title so I’m going to put a comma in here and let her know that she needs to make this the article title and another problem that we see with her article is that you see how she has her period right here after dancing the period when ever you are doing citations in MLA should actually come after the pit after the parentheses in the citation so I’m going to put my comment right here where it needs to be and I’m going to go back over here to comment again and remind her that she needs or well to put your period after the parentheses on your citation it feels really backwards when you do it but you want to make sure that you do this to be correctly doing MLA and so we want to keep going just a little bit further in spite of his parents dislike of the music make persisted in his pursuit crediting rock and roll with his legendary success with women many who know the family intimately insists that Jagger inherited something of his mother’s ambition stamina and strong will traits which helped catapult him to success at a relatively young age although he loved his mother and shared a great many great many character traits with her however it was after his father basil a PE teacher whom Jagger considers to be his biggest influence in his life even though he was the polar opposite of his straight legs father his childhood having given him a safe and firm foundation Jagger felt free to make music coming to America in the wake of the Beatles inspired British Invasion and becoming a phenomenal success so we’ve gone a little bit through our students paper and you’ve seen just about two pages but what we want you to do is go ahead and work with your peer that you are going to be editing we want you to find at least 10 comments that you can potentially make about what they should change these need to be specific comments like what we’ve showed you about what things that they could change but also things that they’ve done well so you may go ahead and get started

Annotated Bibliography Introduction

so this short presentation explains to you just what an annotated bibliography is and looks at what you need to do to get your assignment three started for essay writing for university so before you begin the annotated bibliography task which is assignment three you need to make sure that as we talked about in week seven you’ve completed the first two of the let’s go activities in module four so that was analyzing our topic and clustering or mind mapping or brainstorming your prior knowledge and so that the purpose of that was for you to settle on and decide which two problems you are going to research in your annotated bibliography and then write about in your research essay so the slide notes there that you might like to look ahead and attack activity four three and four four but you can get started with the annotated bibliography tasks even if you haven’t done those so the most important thing is that you’ve decided on the two problems you’re going to be researching in relation to our topic which has stated here again on this slide so you’re looking for two problems that our Australian lifestyle is created for the natural environment and you’re also looking at for information about ways those problems are being addressed so in short you’re looking for information about the problem and you’re also looking to see if you can find information and research about solutions to those problems so you might have at this stage some idea of what you want to say about the problems and your take on the topic for eris on the last two assignments but you also need to be aware that I should do some research and some reading and as you find useful academic sources and in the in the process of compiling the annotated bibliography your ideas might actually change so you have to be ready to be a little bit flexible so an annotated bibliography is quite a fancy little bit frightning sounding term for something that’s actually quite straightforward so a bibliography is another way of saying a list of sources so sometimes people use bibliography and reference list interchangeably they’re not actually the same thing so a bibliography is a list of sources that you’ve consulted and researched used to research your topic but they may not necessarily be actually referenced or cited within the final essay so this annotated bibliography that you’re going to produce you’re going to find four sources in relation to your problem four different sources but it doesn’t actually mean that you’re going to use them as references when you write your research essay you might find other ones you might decide they’re not very useful but you just have to find four sources at this stage in relation to your two problems so usually a bibliography does look like a reference list in that it’s a list of citations with the with the publication details but when we add the annotated part to it that means that after each citation you include a short summary and evaluation of the source so that’s what an annotated bibliography is it’s a list of sources but each one has a short comment or paragraph about what it’s about and how useful it might be for you with your research towards the topic so as you’re going along and you’re looking at the sources that you find you might be thinking about the problems that you’re investigating is this Reese resource that you found might be a newspaper article or a journal article or a book or a document on the web is it actually related to the problem that you’re investigating so that goes back to your analysis of the topic and your decision on what problems that what problems you’re going to research you also have to decide what kind of material you’re actually looking for so in our assignment you’re asked to find four different types of resources so that means you cannot in your annotated bibliography use four books you cannot use for journal articles you cannot use for government reports they have to be different so you might have a book you might have a government report you might have an article from the newspaper and you might have DVD so that’s four different types of resources and also keep an eye out and see as you’re starting to research your topic you’re going to find hopefully lots of information and some of it might keep referring to the same book or the same report that might have been published or written about it that’s giving you a hint that that’s a key piece of research on your topic so you might want to then go ahead and try and look for that as well so in completing this task in essay writing for university you’re actually drawing on some skills that are taught in prep skills for university which you are we will either be doing this term or you will have completed in a previous term if this isn’t your first term of steps so the information literacy component in PS you went through how to effectively use the library how to search the library catalog and other information sources and now you need to be able to hark back to that and apply those skills in combining keywords in formulating search strategies to find resources about the two problems you have chosen so in our annotated bibliography you’re also going to include a short description of how you found each resource each of your four resources and you’ll see this in the model that’s on Moodle as well so you need to be able to describe the keywords that you used whether you limited your search by date or type of resource or whether you use some keywords and they didn’t work so you tried some other ones and they were better and gave you a better return of sources so that is something that’s really important because we want to be able to see that you’ve got the skills to be able to research in an academic way as you prepare not just this essay but as you go into undergrad as well so part of what we’re assessing is that you’ve got those basic information literacy skills they’re essential for you being able to succeed in your undergraduate study sometimes you may find that once you get into your undergraduate degree an annotated bibliography might be part of a larger assignment or it might be a standalone assignment as well and many undergraduate courses include annotated bibliographies as part of their assessment so by having this experience here in steps you would be well prepared for that eventuality so your annotated bibliography needs to only contain four sources but you will see if you’ve read ahead and read the task description for the research essay which is assignment four we expect a minimum of six sources preferably more than six that’s the minimum so the four sources that you use and find here in the annotated bibliography assignment may well be four sources that you use when you write your essay also but then again you might find that they’re not as useful as you thought they were and they won’t appear in your research essay either way is fine because part of this task is about evaluating how good the sources you’re finding are going to be for you in writing about the problems that you’ve chosen so to do the best job on this assignment you need to use the template that’s provided for the annotated bibliography so make sure you’ve downloaded that from the assessment link on Moodle for assignment 3 look at the models that we have provided for you of annotated bibliographies to a better idea as to what is expected and really make sure as with all assignments that you do that you’ve read the task description and the requirements in the course profile and the task sheet and look at the help sheets and submission guidelines also and follow them very carefully and as always if you’re not clear or you just want to double check that you’ve got everything in in order for this assignment make sure you ask questions of your lecturer so there’s a couple more videos about the annotated bibliography that go into detail about how to work with your search strategies and how to do your evaluation and if you watch those and also read the accompanying material in the study guide you should do a good job on this assignment

Visual Analysis Essay

hi this is Professor Melissa Hall and this is a tutorial on writing a visual analysis essay in this assignment you will expand on the skills you learned in the basic visual analysis assignment you’ll use research skills to search the art store digital library to locate a work that exemplifies the characteristics of Flemish Italian Renaissance or high Renaissance art or you can use the Metropolitan Museum collection database you will then conduct an analysis of the work that places it in historical context begin by describing the work in detail using the skills you learned in the basic visual analysis essay so here’s a start there are David’s the Annunciation is a small panel depicting the story of the Annunciation the Virgin Mary is placed in an ordinary interior and is visited by an angel who tells her that she will be the mother of Jesus now I think you will agree this description is lacking in descriptive detail how can we make this description more detailed here are some things to think about appearance clothing how do the figures appear what are they wearing objects and symbols there’s lots of objects in this room some of them are symbolic actions and gestures how are the figures relating to one another and finally the setting and space where are they and what kind of space is it so here’s a rewrite era of David’s the Annunciation is a small panel depicting the Annunciation to the Virgin the scene takes place in a well furnished bedroom that seems too small to contain its inhabitants Mary is placed in the foreground kneeling in a small wooden stool with an open Bible placed on top a decorated vase with lilies symbolic of the Virgin’s purity is placed prominently on the floor next to her and a blue sac which probably protected the Bible she’s reading is strewn casually on the floor diminutive in size Mary appears youthful with her long locks of blond hair and serene expression she wears a simple red dress with a voluminous blue cloak that gathers in heavy folds on the floor around her with one hand placed gently on the open Bible she raises the other to her chest in a gesture of surprise hovering above her head is the dub of the Holy Spirit surrounded by a golden halo now I want you to notice the organization of this description the writer begins with a description of the setting that’s really almost a full paragraph and then moves to a paragraph where the focus is on the description of Mary and then in the next paragraph a description of the angel you’re going to want to think about organizing your description as well the angel floats weightlessly in the small cramped space casting a distinct shadow onto the ground his great wings span the width of the room and his drapery flutters about him as if swept by a great wind like Mary the angels hair is golden and seems to glow like a halo while Mary gestures in surprise of the Angels unexpected visit she does not look directly at him but instead gazes off into space as if she can only sense his disguise divine presence now this was a really nice description but it could have been written by anybody who hasn’t taken an art history class this description needs to demonstrate our historical knowledge why or any of these observe details significant why should we care so you need to show your knowledge of art history by placing this work in historical context placing the work in context will also help your reader understand why it’s so extraordinary to see Mary and the angel depicted in this way I think you know why it’s significant that Mary is being shown in this typical Flemish interior but your reader doesn’t and so that’s the part that you need to work on is to place your description in context and demonstrate art historical knowledge this is what’s going to give your description a sense of purpose as well so let’s now draft an introduction that places this work in historical context in the Middle Ages religious images were often unrealistic holy figures were depicted as abstract icons lacking physicality and weight floating against a flat gold background symbolic of heaven they were further distinguished from earthly beings by the use of higher attic scale and golden halos this should all be familiar to you you learn this in class there are David’s the Annunciation is a small panel depicting the Annunciation to the virgin unlike medieval images that portrayed religious subjects as unrealistic symbols David humanizes the story by portraying Mary in the angel as believably human characters and by placing them in an earthly setting we can relate to do you see a thesis in that introduction now this essay has a thesis and this thesis will guide and ground the description so let’s look at a rewrite at this description that is now being guided by a thesis that the description is going to support the next paragraph begins now with a transition sentence instead of using the flat gold background common in medieval religious paintings Gharib David places his figures in a believable earthly setting using the newly discovered oil medium the objects in the room are rendered in such vivid detail that they’d seem tangible tangible and real while the use of empirical perspective creates a convincing illusion of depth but the room seems too small to contain its inhabitants now the description of the setting that we’ve read before where we talked about all of these different details now it has a context and purpose it’s showing the reader how this setting is believable tangible and real and different from the abstract unreal setting of medieval art and the writer is also demonstrating knowledge of artistic techniques in this than this highlighted sentence the artist is explaining to the reader that oil medium is what’s making this vivid detail possible and empirical perspective is something that we learned about in class as well now in the section describing Mary the writer has added a new sentence to the description about her appearance that really grounds it back in relation to the to the thesis remember in the description it was describing how Barry was diminutive in size that she appears youthful with her long walks of blonde hair and serene expression but now to really sort of drive home the point of this description no longer distinguished by a halo or higher attic scale she is portrayed as a flesh-and-blood woman and here again so now we have a context for understanding this description of Mary and once again the writer demonstrates knowledge of techniques and how they contribute to meaning the artist uses subtle gradations of light and shade to give her body volume in what volume and weight this is how the artist is making her scene fleshing blood real instead of flat and abstract remember the description of the angel the writer and I actually borrowed that from a student who wrote an essay on this and notice that wonderful detail of the shadow cast by the angel okay but that needs to be placed in context so whoops there we are the angel floats weightlessly in the space casting a distinct shadow onto the ground as if to emphasize the physicality of this spiritual apparition that added little sentence relates this observation back to the thesis that era David is taking the flat abstract icons of medieval art and making them physical and real so the angel is now casting a shadow so all we need now is a conclusion and a list of resources so here’s a conclusion Garro David’s the Annunciation exemplifies the humanist approach to religious subjects that became common in the Netherlands in the 15th century departing from the unrealistic style of the Middle Ages he portrays Mary in the angel as believably human characters occupying a space that seems to be an extension of our own world by bringing the divine down to earth in this way he made religion something real that people could relate to in a direct and personal way and here’s a list of resources much like the resources that we did in the basic visual analysis you are not required to do additional research for this essay you will have plenty of resources just from the class itself and be sure to look at the two sample student essays that I posted to get an idea for the expectations for this assignment so good luck and thanks for

30+ Pages of Essay Writing = Delusional Sleep Deprived Cindy

good morning everyone it’s 10 o’clock now so I ended up staying up till 6 o’clock in the morning and I had a vlog clip at like 5:00 in the morning but I actually just deleted it now my camera that’s how much I’m just functioning right now now but I showered I’m wearing this cute D G tank so it’s like a little anchor like the Adid like adidas kind of looking thing it’s like DG oh yeah I’m struggle that little cute so well my shirt is cute this is yeah now I just showered yeah I’m gonna get some breakfast it’s ten o’clock I have class from 12:00 to 5:00 and I’m my first final at 2:00 so I’m just gonna eat real quick probably take me about 40 minutes and then just going to study like an hour in something yeah am i doing the month oh yeah like an hour and something and then go to class yeah it’s gonna be really long day my eyes are already like wool Singh’s doing some coffee and me and yeah let’s go okay everyone some a little sausage like egg cheese McMuffin and then my coffee this is the first time I’ve ever like made coffee for myself like I brewed it like not brewed it really probably I poured out makes the creamer sugar ratio so I don’t know usually I get them like pre-made since I’m not really much of a coffee drinker but desperate times call for desperate measures everyone so it’s 12 o’clock I got to head to my final in like 5-10 minutes it’s at 12:30 or not final class and then I have my final at 2 o’clock and yeah I finished my little note card thing were a lot of bringing a little like note card notes so yeah I got that going for me this is this is geography and like study of race ethnicity ethnicity and cities and how it affects like social life economics and politics and there’s math can’t escape it okay I’m starting to get delusional to copy stuff listening in like I’m energetic I’m tired so like my body’s conflicted it’s like you’re tired but your inner it’s confused so but I feel coffee I feel really confident about the final like I’m not stressing out about that at all I’m only stressing about the two papers that are due tomorrow so no sleep tonight probably so sad everyone so I finished my poly class and then I have 40 minutes until my final so I just went in ask some questions and I feel really prepared for it things are looking good soon some last-minute review and other stuff but it was looking good I’m just a little I’m still terrified because paper think I do tonight me rap but bring the drink lots of coffee and read me really energetic it’s me great then after this tomorrow at 5 p.m. I’m Libby’s gonna knock out and it’s gonna be fabulous so trying to keep people updated ok everyone is like crazy because the Sun is low just blinding me right now as I’m walking into the sunset but I finished what I finished class today and I just have one more like an hour of class tomorrow and then I’m done with class this quarter which is crazy now the real work begins my two papers so it’s gonna be really long interesting vlog of just random shenanigans probably like yesterday as we procrastinate slightly slightly though because it’s just gonna be a lot of stud mine is studying it’s writing my essay now so it’s just writing two papers so at least 27 pages that’s right tonight because one paper has to be 12 to 20 and then one has to be at minimum 15 so this is going to be rough and it’s go suck but we hang it through it it’s gonna be good so I’ll go ahead and just blog or all of you all later alright everyone so I got a ham and Swiss cheese sandwich coming over there hold on focusing focusing focusing there you go has a brisket sandwich just gonna get the workout brief finish eating so yeah okay everyone so it’s 950 and I’m working on my papers so tonight I think already set in blog C I don’t remember like what I said have to write a total of 27 pages minimum it’s gonna be a lot of work not including like work site and stuff like that here’s Emily so for my first paper which has to be 12 to 20 pages long I’m at page 7 so almost there I’m going to do that and then gonna do the other one which the other one is the hard one this one is cool because it’s about YouTube and like how that affects media and all that jazz so this one’s interesting this one’s easy but the other one is going to be hard be a long night okay everyone it’s 11:30 still working on this and I go myself a large coffee gonna need this tonight yep got a big cookie and pizza of course it’s one of those nights it is one of one of those nights well Emily studying she’s being productive this is good oh yeah it’s 3:00 in the morning life sucks I have so much coffee and caffeine and me oh oh oh like I’m gonna die Ewing is working Calvin’s working I’m working huh well I hate you guys all right well the robe on read it and I’m dying it’s okay I have 14 more hours until my papers due so team no sleep team I hate life update it’s 4:45 in the morning there’s no one in the lounge it’s just me working tired struggling scared panicking yeah all right everyone at six o’clock dying tired mmm okay everyone it’s 9:15 clearly it’s so bright outside even though it’s really cloudy actually it’s supposed to rain all day are not all day but portion of the day um yeah still not done I accidentally fell asleep for good two and a half hours I think it’s like two and half three hours so kind of screw it’s 11 o’clock I’m only on page five ten more pages to go I have about five hours I hate life this was so difficult why did I do this to myself why did I just have that so much stuff this week and why did I procrastinate and I hate life Oh friends are there doing work or not never mind he’s on YouTube ha ha all right everyone it’s is it I mean I guess it’s not the best prosciutto but alright anyways your Calvin Islands one o’clock when she’s over there she’s getting work done — you’re all struggling you guys I’m still struggling it’s one o’clock I haven’t eaten in over 13 hours so Calvin look lovely enough to bring me food so I don’t faint because my stomachs growling and I’m kind of dying but yeah couple more hours to go homestretch it’s two o’clock I don’t know when the last time I updated you all but it’s raining this one it’s raining outside do you know that means I have to walk and turn in my paper in the rain that’s so depressing not excited but so close hopefully I’ll be done in like two hours it’s 242 I have about another page to go and I’m done and then my 15 page paper we precisely like like 18 pages 19 pages long because work cited title page and all that jazz so so close it’s so far I’m so exhausted like my whole body is like contorted because like I’ve been sitting here for so long I have like sitting all these new different position just like my blood flowing and so my muscles don’t ache even though I’m tired so I feel like just a blob and it’s still raining so I still have to walk in the rain oh life I just realized I didn’t upload a vlog for yesterday so I’m actually going to start doing that right now I finished my paper and I’ll edit upload the vlog before I head out but I just realized I’d to do that I should probably do that then and I’ll just continue this blog after this point so we hope you all enjoyed this blog and you can watch tomorrow’s vlog to continue to see me suffer yeah I’ll talk to you later bye