How to Peer Edit someone else’s paper

okay what we want to talk to you today about is how you’re going to do your peer edit so you can see I have a example paper in front of me and this was written so that you could see how you can peer edit right on your Google Doc so you’re going to be able to open up your paper and edit someone else’s paper and then also see the fixes that you need to make so one of the first things that I notice about this paper is right up here in the header you see that our student she does have her name in the upper right hand corner which is correct but as you can see it is not in Times New Roman this is actually what it looks like in Arial you want this to also be in Times New Roman so now I’m not going to fix this for but I do want to let her know that this is a problem so I’m going to go over to insert and comment and I want to remind her you should put this in Times New Roman and then I just click comment and it’s right there for now what I want to do is just read through her paper and see what I can help her out with to fix some of her mistakes so she has her title moves like Jagger or Lenin to gifted young men to brilliant musicians to voices of the same generation now the problem here is that these are fragments to gifted young men to brilliant musicians to voices of the same generation she is definitely missing some verbs here so I want to remind her of this and let her know that she would lose points for that because of the grammar error so I’m going to tell her that these three sentences are all fragments maybe check grammar girl for some help because we want to make sure that we don’t have these major grammar issues in our paper so let’s keep going and see what else we can find two very different trajectories towards Fame and Beyond John Lennon lead singer of the Beatles and Mick Jagger leader of the Rolling Stones are at first glance two very similar men upon examination however is easy to see their differences are profound and each difference contributes to their particular musical style their early childhood their varying paths of fame and their reactions to worldwide adulation mark each and unique in personal ways John Lennon’s Chou was marked by war okay it sounds like we just had a big transition because we started a new paragraph our first paragraph to support our thesis which starts at John Lennon’s childhood so I would want to put a comment here that is explaining that she needs to indent this paragraph because it is a new thought okay so now let’s keep going and see what else we can find born in December a year after Great Britain entered World War two Lenin had a childhood marked by frequent bombings and air raids this however was not the chief calamity of his early years his mother Julia Lenin was a beautiful and flighty young woman who had been married to Lenin’s father off only briefly once their marriage broke up she remarried a man named Bobby Dyken and had two daughters with him she did not bring John with her however her sister John’s Aunt Mimi raised him up raised him in her household through his school years even from afar however Julia influenced him very heavily especially with the new music suddenly heard everywhere rock and roll you know this transition right here this even from afar however where we’re bringing in these two different ideas talking about Julia but then also talking about the new music and is an awesome transition so I want to definitely let my students know that this is a awesome transition so let’s see what we’re going to talk about next in order to win the love and approval of his mother John took up rocking rock music and guitar earning Julia’s high praise and encouragement John both loved and hated hated his mother she supported his desire to play music unlike his strict and conventional Aunt Mimi but also had abandoned him and his view but also and hid but also had abandoned him in his view but also had abandoned him in his view okay so you can see here that our student has repeated herself quite a few times so we want to just make this note to let her know that she needs to take one of these phrases out so we will let her know when Julia was killed by a hit-and-run driver in 1958 John’s bitterness and resentment overwhelmed all those who were close to him friends girlfriends family this deep-seated anger also fueled many of his songs in many ways Julia even after her death acted as linens muse and inspiration John had an unconventional childhood mick jagger’s was a very conservative and safe born in 1943 — basil and Eva Jagger he came from the father who was a teetotal Baptist and a mother who had hated rock-and-roll music I would watch my lovely boys sitting so neat and clean watching that dreadful Cliff Richard that awful hair and that sexy dancing okay so right here in this quote that starts it’s what we would like to call an orphan quote this quote is just all on its own it doesn’t have any introduction we don’t really have much info about who’s saying and what’s going on so I can tell by the way that she’s written that she’s meaning this to be from the mother so just to fix the problem I could easily say something like you know she always says or just an easy fix but I want to remind her that she needs to make that fix so in here I want to say you need to introduce your quote don’t leave it as an orphan and then also after I go past this quote a little bit I notice an issue with her citation you see how her citation is a link we don’t want it to be a link we want it to actually be her article title so I’m going to put a comma in here and let her know that she needs to make this the article title and another problem that we see with her article is that you see how she has her period right here after dancing the period when ever you are doing citations in MLA should actually come after the pit after the parentheses in the citation so I’m going to put my comment right here where it needs to be and I’m going to go back over here to comment again and remind her that she needs or well to put your period after the parentheses on your citation it feels really backwards when you do it but you want to make sure that you do this to be correctly doing MLA and so we want to keep going just a little bit further in spite of his parents dislike of the music make persisted in his pursuit crediting rock and roll with his legendary success with women many who know the family intimately insists that Jagger inherited something of his mother’s ambition stamina and strong will traits which helped catapult him to success at a relatively young age although he loved his mother and shared a great many great many character traits with her however it was after his father basil a PE teacher whom Jagger considers to be his biggest influence in his life even though he was the polar opposite of his straight legs father his childhood having given him a safe and firm foundation Jagger felt free to make music coming to America in the wake of the Beatles inspired British Invasion and becoming a phenomenal success so we’ve gone a little bit through our students paper and you’ve seen just about two pages but what we want you to do is go ahead and work with your peer that you are going to be editing we want you to find at least 10 comments that you can potentially make about what they should change these need to be specific comments like what we’ve showed you about what things that they could change but also things that they’ve done well so you may go ahead and get started

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